Yes, me too, and also many women. In fact, I wonder if any woman has never suffered abuse in her life.
In the #OficinaFroggiesMadrid we are 5 women, and we have all suffered some form of abuse. In fact, we have talked about how in the nightclubs, the street, the catcalling, the persecutions, the voyeurs and so many and many times they have left us blocked and invaded.
I see even worse the times we don’t know we’ve been abused. The times that we have internalized that yes, men can touch our body or our soul, even when we don’t want.
The first time I remember I was on a tour of the school. He was just trying to be funny, and climbing a ladder, he touched my ass. Yes, it was only that, ass, many may think. It’s kids’ stuff, others will think… And no, it’s not kids’ stuff, no. These are adult things that perpetuate the macho violence that exists among women. These are adult things that do not teach their children to respect themselves and therefore others. These are adult things that keep the flame of “I am superior to you because I am a man” alive.
I don’t know a woman who doesn’t look back at night after a strange sound. I don’t know of any woman who hasn’t ever run back home. I always did it myself. And therefore, I don’t want my daughter to live it as well. We need a social change, which goes beyond perpetuating and maintaining customs.
We need that all of those women who believe that there is no sexism, to stand up and look around. Look with social eyes, with the magnifying glass of reality. That that kills, that violates, abuse that, even worse, hides, ignores and avoids telling.
Because we seem to be exaggerating when we tell them how we feel. And there are not exaggerations, only by the fact that I remember that moment in that trip (and those who know me will know that my memory is limited), says a lot about the way that you can leave any experience in the conscious and the unconscious.
And no, I don’t want my children to be victims or executioners. I don’t find it fair to have to warn Cloe that her life may be more hostile than the life of Kian. I don’t find it fair to speak to her about care. Because no, you must not have to be more careful than anyone else. Not for being a woman. I don’t want her to be restricted in her freedom, no matter how small, by instilling in her the care. I don’t want one to be freer in life than the other. I want neither of them to look back on a night returning home. I wish that none of them feels discomfort with their body because nobody invades them. I don’t want them to suffer this social scourge. No. I don’t want it.
And since I do not want to, and I want to improve things, I am looking for ways to accompany them, to change and to bring children into this society more aware, more complete and more secure. And that’s why we’ll soon have a training session about all this at Froggies. Because it is necessary. Because as a society we have a very huge problem, and it is so big that we cannot look the other way. We simply don’t know how to do it.
Learning is the healthiest thing that can exist, because so much irony in children, so much control, so much authoritarianism and so little choice in childhood, results in beings who have always experience that another person makes decisions for them all the time. And that is what they do, because that is what they have learned, with and without love.
Free choice and respect should be the cornerstone of our life.
And you, do you question all of these issues? And how do you deal with them?